LizaWasHere

We're Crazy Romantics

Today is Jill's and my 7th wedding anniversary; we've been together for 8 years.

We *were* going to go out for dinner last weekend, but with her sprained ankle, we've delayed that. Instead, we had leftovers, popcorn and a drink, and we're watching the Olympics and Kell on Earth (slightly), and I'm blogging while Jill reads.

Crazy romantic, I'm telling you.

Yesterday, after the US vs Canada hockey game, Josie picked up a new word. She saw the athletes all doing that thing where they line up and say "good game, good game" to each other, and she said "Hello!" 30 or 40 times. I so wish her vocabulary could express the rest of what she's got to say.

Noah has no such trouble. He sobbed this morning that he did not want to go to school, school is boring, can't he stay here, he's too tired.

When I picked him up after school, he sobbed that he did not want to leave, home is boring, why can't he stay here, he's too tired.

Also, he's still mad that turning 4 didn't immediately vault him into 4-K. We have tried to explain, but we're failing.

Back from Atlanta

I had a great trip to Atlanta this week, which was marred only by the fact that roughly 15 minutes before I landed in Milwaukee, Jill fell on a piece of ice and severely sprained her ankle.

Jill had been with the kids at "Family Fun Night" for Noah's school, and she wiped out on the sidewalk near where she parked. Fortunately, Josie (who had been in her arms!) was fine, just shaken by the experience. Jill was able to drive home, and when my parents delivered me from the airport, they continued their generous taxi service and took Jill to urgent care. 

Meanwhile, I was lax about bedtime, letting everyone stay up in their pjs, letting Noah watch another Bakugan episode, AND reading to him, AND snuggling with him after Josie fell asleep. It was a nice reconnection with both of them.

Josie was unbelievably well behaved and patient about waiting for "Babboo?" She wanted to nurse within approximately 20 seconds of my walking in the door, but she accepted that we had to help This Mommy first -- and repeatedly accepted that answer for almost 5 minutes.

My trip was amazing. Although there are a lot of people in Atlanta whom I couldn't arrange to see, I *did* see a number of former colleagues, my panel went extremely well -- and I had a great time talking with fellow-presenter James Andrews, and I made it to church. My hosts were wonderfully relaxed, warm, and easy to be with -- and it was so nice to see them.

Why I Haven't Been Blogging

I have a million excuses for why I haven' been blogging, but here's the real reason.

There is, and has been, a lot going on that I deemed "unbloggable." I deemed it unbloggable, not because anything bad is going on, but because there are a lot of different possibilities emerging, and I was worried about how someone doing an internet search on me related to one of them might read the others.

The thing is, they're going to think what they're going to think, and wonder which of the many things I'm up to are "really" what I'm up to, regardless of what I say or don't say here and now.

So, here are the things that have been going on here:

1. We made an offer on a house.
2. It was not accepted; the people had another offer they took instead.

And:

1. I applied for an amazing looking job that if it were local, would be perfect.
2. Who knows what will happen in terms of interviewing, etc. In this economy, they might well get dozens of well qualified applicants.

And:

1. I interviewed for the PhD program in Information Studies last week. The interview went well, I think.
2. I'm having a great time working as  a research assistant. I'm learning a ton, both about research methods, and about how the Internet was developed.

And:

1. Josie will be starting at Noah's school in 2 weeks!!! A place opened up EXACTLY when we needed it to, when she is 18 months old. That's the youngest they take children in their toddler program.
2. I think it will actually make my dropoff routine take longer. Montessori isn't exactly the "walk in the door and hand the child to the caregiver" model of education. Or even the "come in and take your child's outside clothing off yourself" model. They're all about independence. Which means helping Josie learn to get in and out of her outside clothes herself.
3. I'm still thrilled. We all are.

And:

1. Out of the various conferences I've been speaking at, and conversations locally in real life, my law practice is generating clients! I'm working on a very cool project (still unbloggable for the moment) and think I'm going to be working on another one soon.
2. I was interviewed for an article about inclusiveness in the practice of law, in the ABA Journal! (The main national magazine for lawyers.) The physical magazine has a huge picture of me, and a small one of me with Noah.

Noah is 4 Years Old

Dear Noah,

Today you turned 4 years old.

The day started out pretty ordinary: You woke up a little bit cranky, felt better after watching some Bakugan on TV, and then got really crabby when it was time to leave for school.

Your school has a terrific birthday acknowledgment ritual. Around 11 am, we arrived. Most of the kids were already in a circle; the teachers gathered the few remaining. You came and sat down between us, and introduced This Mommy and That Mommy to your friends.

The teacher handed you a small globe, and lit a candle. Then you walked around the candle while the other students sang a song about the earth going around the sun. After each chorus, your teacher asked us to describe what you did when you were a baby, then 1, then 2, and then 3. We showed pictures on the computer and brought some to pass around.

When that was done, the teacher asked for volunteers to share what they liked about you. Several children said they like when you play with them. Miss Marybeth said you were a good eater, but a little bit slow and easily distracted. (We were not surprised.)

Then you (with the teacher's help) blew out the candle.

On the drive home from school this afternoon, you sadly told me that even though you were 4 years old now, you still had to go to nap. I'm not sure I was successful in explaining that only people who turned 4 before school started this year didn't have to nap -- everyone in 3-K naps after lunch, and even though you are 4 now, you are still in 3-K.

It is hard  believe you've been at this school for more than a year. In that year, you've gotten really into coloring, counting (you've gotten to 170 with fairly little help), and writing letters and numbers. You also love riddles and puzzles of nearly any kind.

You can write your name with confidence, and last week, you also wrote the word "MOM." I almost died from pride. On Monday you convinced one of the after school teachers to give you a lesson in letter tracing and a graph to practice writing numbers. You worked so hard on your "homework" of filling in the numbers -- and were so proud to have homework to do.

Your favorite present so far is the red Bakugan ball that This Mommy gave you, but you also like the stacking robot blocks. They're tricky, especially when you try to build with them while in bed or on the couch. Josie likes them too, especially as chewing toys.

I love you, Noah. It boggles the mind that you are already 4 whole years old.

love,

That Mommy

And Then We Had Heart Attacks

Josie took a stage dive off of the changing table today.

She landed headfirst, getting a huge abrasion on her forehead, and a smaller one on her nose.

It was one of those horrible moments, where you turn and see the worst part, but you can't move fast enough to stop it.

I know better.

I shouldn't have left her on the table. I only stepped 2 feet away, to grab a pair of pants I'd set on the edge of the laundry basket. But it was far enough.

I turned my head back just in time to see her hit the floor headfirst.

That rates right up there among the worst moments in my life.

She had a few moments of shock before starting to cry inconsolably, although within about 5 minutes, she'd calmed down considerably and we were the ones freaking out. And in spite of her apparent improvement, we headed for children's hospital within 10 minutes of the fall. 

(Lucky for us, they have an urgent care situated between the parking deck and the ER. Since she was calm and happy, and the giant abrasion on her face was not swollen, I decided to go with urgent. If they recommended ER after examining her, so be it.)

Naturally all she wanted to do in the waiting room was climb on the furniture. But the wait wasn't bad, and Jill caught up with us (she waited at home with Noah for Grandma to arrive) between the nurse exam and the doctor. She got to hold Josie during the exam, ask questions, etc, for herself instead of just translated through me.

Although we're supposed to keep an eye on Josie for the next 48 hours, she seems to be doing ok. She didn't even flinch or pull away when the doctor was pushing the actual abrasions on her sweet little face. And she was walking, pulling on things, trying to climb, etc. Less chattery than usual, but it was a new place and she'd had a short nap.

Poor little booboo. 

Brain Exercising

It has been a long time since I was in school.

I'm not even technically back in school yet, but I started working as a research assistant this week, and it really feels like brain boot camp. And my brain is exhausted. 

I'm learning TONS, and it is surprisingly interesting and funny work. Although some of the documents are highly technical, many are informally written, with entertaining digressions and personalities shining through loud and clear.

I've also gotten to know the people at the library reference desk and those who work on Inter-Library Loan. Can you believe my library doesn't have all of the obscure computer security journal and conference articles published in 1971? But who needs to when you have librarians helping you track them down?

Who wants to help me read half a dozen technical articles on computers data security written in 1971?

Plan B.5

Today marked a major milestone in my Plan B, or as I'm thinking of it at the moment, Plan B.5. It might evolve into more of a Plan C later this year, but for now, exactly where it goes is not so clear.

I still don't know whether I'll be pursuing the MLIS or the PhD; I've been officially accepted to the MLIS program, but the PhD program deadline was just last week, so I imagine that it may be a while yet before I hear.

Either way, I registered this semester for 2 courses as a "non-degree" candidate, and am taking core courses that are required for either degree.

And today, I started my part-time job as a research assistant for Professor Sandra Braman. Although Sandra and I only met in November, we've run in overlapping political and public policy circles for the last 10 years, and have a lot of common interests and acquaintances. I think she's going to be great to work for, and a real professional mentor if I do take the plunge into academia.

The project I'll be working on is a policy analysis of the documents that make up the Internet Standards Process -- a project that I realize lives right at the intersection of Geek and Wonk, and about which I could not be more excited. The way that the Internet technology standards have been developed is largely an open, democratic process in which anyone with the time, interest, and expertise can participate, mostly by writing documents back and forth. So what kinds of policy issues were included in those discussions? Ask me again in a few months. I'll be focusing on the documents with privacy implications.

I have *NOT* shut down the law practice. It just hasn't been filling a full-time schedule, so I'm augmenting it with these additional projects.

My New Year's Post, A Little Bit Late

I have to admit, usually I get excited about New Years, about turning over a new leaf, etc. But this year, I wasn't feeling it. Maybe because this was the first real "school vacation" year where I was the full time parent and busier than ever for the week or so before New Years.

More likely because 2009 was HARD. One of the hardest years I can remember. And it was on top of 2008, when I got laid off, had baby #2, and moved across the country.

But last night, Josie found the posterboard I'd made to inspire myself for 2009, and started dancing on it.

And I realized that 2009 was not as much of a failure as I thought.

(It just didn't look like I expected it to look.)

I declared 2009 the year I would thrive. I called out 4 areas in particular:

• Healthy & stronger than ever
• Family love that keeps growing
• A big gold star for career success, satisfaction, and making a difference
• Sharing food and fun with friends

I thought that meant I was going to start going to the gym regularly, that I was going to get a fantastic traditional job, that we'd have people over all the time, and that we'd be in a wonderful house that we owned, not a nice-but-far-from-perfect rental.

None of those things happened.

Here's what did happen:

I lost 2 pants sizes in 2009, and ended the year about 6 lbs up from my goal weight. That's not bad, even if it isn't exactly where I imagined.

On the love front, being apart for so many months of 2009 was rough. But we're on the right path, and Noah and Josie are doing fantastically. Noah's school and classroom are a great counterpoint for all the change he's been through in the last 2 years, and I am very happy for him to stay in the same place for the full Montessori 3-year cycle.

We've done more sharing of food and fun with friends than at any time since we moved in together. I'd still like to do more, but we're not doing badly.

Never in my wildest conscious imaginings of a year ago, did I think I would be going back to school. And yet, I called my work goal a "gold star" career. I spelled out what that meant, in a 20 item bullet-point list, and I think that the combination of my part time research position & classes (beginning later this month) and my work-from-home law practice, will fulfill 18 or 19 of those 20 bullet points.

I still don't know that I can say 2009 was a year where my family and I really thrived. But maybe it was more of a root-building, foundation-laying, solid-progress making year than I thought at first. 

2010, we declared, is all about love.

I think I'm going to look at those areas of life again, and make some more bullet pointed lists. Some of those items may need to be more specific, though.

Josie is 16 Months Old

Dear Josie,

Today you are 16 months old.

Your vocabulary is exploding, which is charming and adorable, especially where it only almost works. When we go outside, I always ask, "Do you see the snow?" You nod, point, and then say, "No-no" while shaking your index finger in the old-fashioned "don't touch/do that" waggle. Other fun new words that may only be clear to me include bath, toothbrush, bottle, car, block, and snow.

Your favorite Christmas present is a toss up between the baby doll, which you urgently seek several times a day, "Baby? Baby? Baby?" Then you feed her and hand her to me. The other option might be the plastic jar of farm animals. You could spend hours dumping them out and either handing them to a Mommy or putting them back in the jar. You always want one of us to name them, and if we are too slow, you occasionally ask, "Mow?" (you know--what a cat says) or "Baa?" or "Moo?" If you can't identify the animal, you either growl or bark.

The most defining aspect of your personality right now is your sheep-herding tendency. You STRONGLY prefer everyone to be in the same room, or at least within sight. If Noah leaves the room, you charge after him, running like a drunken sailor, squealing with glee. If This Mommy or I leave, you burst into tears. When we enter the room -- especially This Mommy, if she's been gone for awhile -- you shriek with joy, bounce, and fling yourself around her leg. When we go over to That Grandma and That Grandpa's house, they get a similar treatment, although not quite as full-throttle.

You still love to talk on the "phone" -- meaning any object that fits in your hand and can be placed against your head. You pick it up and say "Hi!" or "HiGa-ah!" and babble for a moment, watching to make sure that someone will answer your chatter.

You also love to play "body part bingo" -- I ask, "Where are your toes?" You lift your foot and shout "doh!" Then we say "Toe!" back and forth until you get tired. Nose and eyes are similarly exciting, although with "eye" you prefer to dig your finger into either your or my eye, such that I worry we're about to call an emergency ophthalmologist. Arm, knee, hands, fingers, mouth, and ear/hair are also fun, but not like toes. You only like finding your belly when you can actually reach your belly-button, which limits it a lot during the winter. In fact, I think that's your least favorite fact of diaper changing, and maybe your favorite part of having a bath.

You are so beautiful -- your hair curls into soft rings on the back of your neck, your eyes are a lovely ambiguous color, more gray than Noah's, and you have the most infectious smile. I hope you remain as funny and charming as you are beautiful, and I love you so very much.

That Mommy

Funny Non Christmas Story

I've been meaning to post this story for weeks, but keep forgetting.

We have great neighbors here, especially the people who live 2 doors down. They are a fantastic, progressive, straight couple with 3 beautiful children -- the youngest of whom are very close to Noah and Josie's ages.

Mrs Wonderful Neighbor, Melissa, told me this story some weeks ago.

Over dinner, her oldest son (7) commented that he could easily imagine his 3 year old brother with a wife. The family chatted about it, and agreed.

That led to discussion of the fact that they couldn't really imagine their barely-toddler sister with anyone. Mom thought that was actually a good thing, given her age.

Then the oldest son said something to the effect of, "Mom, I could picture you with a wife."

Melissa, being happily married for many years, expressed surprise. 

Apparently, her oldest son feared that he wasn't being clear. "No, Mom. I can really picture it. You know. Like Jill & Liza."

Melissa clarified to her children that she was happy with her family just the way it is, no additional wife needed -- and is clearly also thrilled that her kids are growing up unprejudiced. 

Me too.